Why I like the Yankees
posted in New York Yankees, Post-season |Okay, that got your attention. I like the Yankees. I really do. I like the Yankees because I hate the Yankees.
What is a movie with no bad guy? (Uhm, probably a winner at Sundance.) What is The Old Man and the Sea without that damned marlin? (I haven’t actually read it since sixth grade, forgive me if my memory failed, there was a marlin somewhere right?). What are the Red Sox without the Yankees? (AL East winners more often than not… okay, they’d probably accept that one.)
Baseball needs George Steinbrenner’s Evil Empire. Luke Skywalker wasn’t just fighting his dad, you know. Without the Yankees, what other team could draw so many people across social, economic, and divisional lines together in a throng of hate? Not the Angels!
I like the Yankees for the same reason I like the White Sox: I want to beat them. Bad. 162 games this season, and the ones that had me on the edge of my seat the most were against the White Sox. I hate the White Sox. They win too much. I hate the Yankees. They spend too much.
Now that is quality television.
And that’s why the Tigers playing the Yankees in their first postseason is so fun. No offense to the Twins and to Oakland, both very good teams, but they aren’t the those pinstripe wearing so-and-sos from the Bronx who walk around with a crown on their head and media lapdogs 100 thick in their wake.
Now, two things can happen. Detroit can beat New York, and we have a very good time dethroning the already coronated. I don’t think I’d have been nearly as happy Thursday with a playoff victory over Oakland. I know I wouldn’t have been. Or the Yankees can take two of the next three games, and I hate the Yankees even more next year. Either way, I have a good time.
Game 2: A New Hope
Game 3: The Empire Strikes Back
I hope not. But another George had an idea how to make pretty good drama about 25 years ago, and that worked out fine in th end.
Bad guys wear black hats. The White Sox figured that part out. But Steinbrenner has perfected the Darth Vader march, putting All-Stars everywhere in his lineup and rotation and spending as much money as the other three American League playoff teams combined. And he still might not win his first title since 2000. That’s what makes it so fun.
I hate the Yankees. I like that. It’s a three game series. Joel Zumaya just blew up the Death Star, and it’s going down in our own backyard now. Boo the bad guys, cheer for the good guys, and let’s see what happens next. Now this is good drama.
Sphere It
One must complete the Star Wars allegory if one is going to use this correctly. Since I am an uber-Star Wars geek, I feel I am the right man for the job.
George Steinbrenner = Emperor Palpatine. Obvious.
Darth Vader is more difficult to put a finger on. Vader leads, yes, but is also part of the fight. So Torre and Cashman are out of the equation. The next logical casting would be Derek Jeter - but Jeter grew up in the Empire, loving the Empire and is loyal to the Empire. Remember that Vader was once Anakin, a servant of good.
So Vader must be … Jason Giambi, lured to the Dark Side by dreams of power (or money, as this case may be).
Whoa, Dude, you’re nerdier than I thought!
Of course, you’re right. Good guys wear green. And Giambi is ugly as sin. Does that make him JZ’s daddy? Oh man.
Nice analogy! So Jim Leyland must be a chain smoking Yoda? “Proved today, belong in playoffs, we do…”